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Gayl is the best person that I know. She and we never accomplished all that we wanted to. She had too much pain in her life, and too much hurt. There was a lot of injustice done to her. But, how sweet and giving she is. She never turned against God and always witnessed of His glory and love in all of her actions. She is so nice to be with. So easy to be with. And so smart and fun. So few women measure up. Gayl was right, I did not realize just how unique and special she was because I had not dated much. I thought most women were nearly as good as her. They are not. Gayl stands miles above them. Yes, I love her very much, so I am not unbiased in my assessment; but what I say is the truth. Gayl is wonderful. A great companion and wife. I miss her so very much every day, there are so many times I want to talk with her and share stuff with her. I miss her so. That does not even begin to say what it is like. Something has been pulled out of me, and it hurts. Hurts as in pain. Hurts as in sometimes it is hard to breath and even to take a step. And I still want to take care of her. She is in Heaven, but I want her to be happy and have joy and peace and to be honored. She hurt so much for so long, the pain was so agonizing at times, that she has suffered so much that I pray that she is given special, wonderful things; things in Heaven so wonderful that they are beyond imagination. But I do not even know how to ask. So I pray for her and ask God to bless her beyond anything that I can imagine. I just can't seem to stop taking care of her. Maybe people would understand if they had seen all the pain, all the hospital time, all the legal battles, and the stuff she had to deal with. I just want her to be happy; its OK if I hurt as long as she is OK and really happy. Truly, it is OK. What I really want to do is make sure that the people who hurt her are hurt in return. The legal system should be able to do it, but no one seems to care. So, its a legal battle I will have to fight on my own for her. I just wish that i had her help, there is no one else who I can trust and who I respect half as much. I love her so much, and I was so blessed by her. No one can imagine how much. I guess that's what makes this time apart all the more painful, I know that whoever I may meet will in no way fill in any of the void.