Gayl

I was there. I was there to hear the last words Gayl spoke. Me, and me alone. And what she said was meant only for me and to me. While I cherish those words beyond any price; she should not have been alone with me. She deserved to have family and friends with her, but they were all too busy. She deserved better,but as in so many other things everyone else took her for granted and there was only me. And while I cherish her beyond my own life, I could not figure out what to do. We fought the cancer as long as we could, beyond the point of horrible pain. Beyond the point of agony. To the point where all that was left was her courage and my pathetic attempts to help her. And I failed her, I did not let go but there was nothing left to hold. There is always something else that can be done, I just could not think of it and Gayl could not tell me, her pain was too great.

I miss her, more and more with each passing day. People say the pain gets less, it does not. I just hide it better most of the time, and then it erupts when I am alone.

My dreams and memories are haunted by the years of suffering she endured, suffering so needlessly inflicted by the States of Ohio and Michigan and by uncaring doctors. Well, I made Gayl a promise, it was the next to last thing I said to her. And I don't break promises, especially to a dying woman. I wonder if any of the people who destroyed Gayl know what they did. If not, they soon will. It should not have happened to her, and if any of those people in power had cared a whit about doing their duties responsibly Gayl would now be fine and by my side. This I know beyond any doubt.