Gayl, me, our life: some thoughts

Very few hours of a day pass when I do not think of Gayl, either in passing or at length. She is the love of my life. She is in my heart, she commands it, I love no other human near as much. And, without her, life is miserable and dark; darker than I could ever have imagined. I don't think anyone but she ever appreciated how much we loved each other and how much we cared. I could always trust her, with everything, with the deepest thoughts of my heart, everything. She was not perfect, but for me she is wonderful; a perfect companion, friend, buddy, wife, and love. I do not understand why things were so hard for us, why so much trouble and strife. It often consumes my thoughts. I can only assume that the things that happened occurred because of her goodness; the world hates the pure of heart, the loving, the kind, the principled, the caring, the humane, the tender-hearted; all of the characteristics of a Christian. The world pretends to admire this type of person, but only in the abstract; when most people encounter a person like that they try to destroy that person, to bring them down from the"pedestal", though they do not aspire to admiration or worldly reward. Gayl always tried to be good, kind, and loving because it was the right thing to do. She was not vindictive or hurtful; yet the people of this world were hateful and hurtful to her. As for me, my heart-felt guilt springs from the fact that I could not protect her, try as I might. This world, most people in it, claim to admire goodness and kindness but, in fact, they do not. They despise it and try to destroy it. Yet, Gayl is also strong of character and did not fold in the face of the continued attacks and hurt and pain; the endless betrayal and unwarranted evil turned against her. I am proud of her, proud to have been with her, blessed to know her, be loved by her, stand by her side, and be married to her. Gayl is better than this world deserves, and so the world destroyed her. Now, there is only me. And, even now, people try to attack her and destroy her memory. And I must fight to preserve it, as it truly is and as I know it. The truth. That she deserved to be honored and instead was spat upon by this world; especially her family. They envied her and hurt her more than she ever said, but her tears that flowed about their treatment of her spoke volumes. Her love for them was answered by hurtful actions, jealousy, and disapproval. And dislike, in word and deed. They never treated her as even a friend, let alone a loved sister or daughter. They treated her like a tool to be used and exploited; never ONCE did they rally to her aid, no matter the cause. No matter if it was disease, injustice, pain, or heartbreak, they used every hurt that she suffered as an opportunity to be hurtful and unkind, which only made the pain inflicted by the world 100, no 1000 time worse. They never appreciated her for her intelligence, kindness, loving heart, or warmth; they returned her goodness toward them with a knife in the back and words that cut deep into her heart. And, yet, she persevered in love and kindness; ever toward them, which is all the more wonderful and one of many reasons I love and admire her so very much.

I am honored to have shared my life with her, to be loved by her, to be her husband, and to be trusted by her. I am hers to command, second only in importance to God and his Son Jesus, because she is a better person than I. I love her and miss her. Gayl always seemed so surprised that I stayed with her, through it all. How could I do otherwise? I love her so very much, it would take more that the troubles the world and her family brought down upon us for me to ever let go of her. She is the best part of my life, without her life is mere existence and no house could ever be a home.