Gayl

Gayl already knows how highly I think of her, but you need to know some of what I do about her. Gayl is a wonderful Christian lady. I have been blessed greater than other man by having Gayl in my life. The best person I have ever known is now with the Lord. I rejoice that she is with Him, that her pain and trials are at an end, and that she is with her beloved dogs; but a life without her is a grim. My light is gone. I, and the world, are the poorer for this loss and heaven has been enriched.

Gayl was always my pride, my joy, and my boast. I loved her and always will. I treasure every minute we spent together or even talking on the phone. I treasure the fact that her last minute on Earth was spent holding my hand in such a way that she told me that she loved me. She taught me what it means to be loved. She taught me what it means to be a Christian.

I was priviledged and honored to be Gayl’s husband and friend. She is my best buddy, I was fortunate enough to be hers. She always let me know that I was loved; deeply, truly, and honestly by her with all her heart. Her actions toward me showed that. No man could have a greater gift or a better wife and friend, and I was fortunate enough to receive this gift from her for over 31 years. Her love for me was a gift I did not earn or deserve, Gayl gave it freely from her heart. When I was not a good husband to her, from out of some inexhaustible reserve of love, she would find it in her heart to forgive and to retain her love for me. This, in itself, is amazing and I am humbled and stand in awe of her loving heart and forgiveness. God placed a wonderful person in my life, her love and patience with me passed all understanding. Any good qualities you see in me are due to her influence and guidance; as for the bad, her love, kindness, and sweetness blunted their edge and gradually removed their roots. Her love made me a better man.

Let me tell you of the Gayl I knew, or as she was known when we met, Tink. We met by accident, by the grace of God, at the North Bridge in the Air Force Academy cadet area by the library. She called me sir there, for the first and last time, and asked me to escort her to her car via the cadet area because she could not get from the library to her car without an escort. I walked her to her car and, after 15 seconds or so, as we walked down the “Bring Me Men” ramp, asked her for a date. She said yes, because, as I later found out, she had nothing better to do. We saw the movie Dr Zhivago, she thought I was a dork. I asked her out again, and after sufficient pestering I earned a second date, more because the restaurant we were to go to was nice than the impression I had made on our first date. I made a better impression that second time, and our life together began. I had found the one true love of my life, and miracle of miracles, she fell in love with me. My love for her grew every day, and each day with her was a blessing.

After a few months, I proposed. She said no, as I later found out, to see how I would react. She has a great sense of humor, always did. For example, a few days later, while we were talking on the phone, me in a phone booth, all the freshmen in my squadron attacked, tore off the doors and most of my clothes and started to shave me from head to foot. I barely escaped, only because I had previously told one of my best friends that she had said no to me. She had set the whole thing up, including getting me into the phone booth, because she had somehow learned that the tradition was to shave seniors who got engaged. How she laughed at that. A few weeks later, on Valentine’s Day; I picked her up from her work at Navigators. After a few moments in the car, she asked me if I had any questions for her. Being especially bright, I had no idea what she was talking about. After a bit of prompting by her, it finally dawned what she wanted me to ask. So, I proposed again there in the car while we were driving out of the Navigator’s office complex. Never do that. When she said yes, I nearly drove into the ditch because I was so excited and happy.

As I grew to know her over the years, I learned of her many talents and watched her develop new skills. She excelled at all she did. She plays the piano like a concert pianist. She sings like an angel. She made beautiful ceramics and stained glass. She excelled at woodworking, sewing, knitting, crocheting, cooking, art and car maintenance. Her skills developed over the years until they were quite amazing, to the point where I could not even understand how she did what she did and was simply amazed by the beauty of her creations. Her custom pizza, which we called a world famous, is the best I have ever had. I could tell a million more stories about her, her smile and laugh, her humor, skiing, walking in the mountains, and her wonderful qualities as a woman, friend, and wife. Qualities far surpassing my own meager abilities as a husband.

She loves movies. Her memory for movie details is incredible, she loved all kinds of movies: romances, romantic, war, drama, action, sci-fi. We watched her favorites, Star Wars, True Lies, Harry Potter, Sharky’s Machine, Somewhere in Time, Ben Hur, The 10 Commandments, It Happened One Night, Where Eagles Dare, Die Hard, The Shadow, Indiana Jones, Titanic, El Cid, A Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life, Dr Zhivago, Scrooged, Shining Through, The Great Escape, Speed, Spartacus, Shawshank Redemption, Judge Roy Bean, and more again and again. And TV too, programs like Star Trek, 24, St Elsewhere, Dynasty, Wild, Wild West; all the classics. We played a game of remembering trivia about movies and TV, and she was right more often than not.

A few years after we married, she entered medical school and became class vice-president. I was so proud. She graduated and started her practice. She is a wonderful doctor, her capacity as a physician is beyond belief. A few stories will illustrate what I mean. She saved my life twice, once when I had a brain tumor and once when I had a bleeding ulcer. She stopped at numberless roadside accidents and saved several lives. I would sit in the doctor’s lounge when she was at work, and she would sneak away to talk with me a bit between cases and tell me about the interesting ones. She saved many souls in their last moments in this world. I saw her save many lives, sometimes with little more than her two hands and her wits. She could diagnose disease over a phone better than most physicians could with a complete medical workup and with the patient in front of them. She loved medicine, every part of it. She dispensed her vast medical knowledge and talent freely to any and all in need; and thousands are alive because of her, her skill, and her caring for people as a doctor. She has the remarkable capacity to develop an instant raport with her patients, they often called her Dr Gayl (even though her formal name, and the one most doctors would insist on would be Dr Gayl Godsell-Stytz, Dr Gayl Godsell, or Dr. Gayl Stytz). One other story illustrates her incredible medical ability. When Gayl was in Kettering hospital this last time, two days before discharge after her surgery (when we still had great hopes) her main doctor told me, completely unexpectedly, that she was the best doctor he had ever worked with and how impressed he was by her knowledge and intelligence and skill as a physician. She earned this complement from a world-class specialist, this complement was earned by a woman with terrible cancer and tremendous amounts of pain medication in her body. Indeed, he even asked where she practiced so that he could consult her and refer patients after her recovery.

And her dogs. We can’t forget them. How she cherished them, loved them, and cared for them and how much happiness they gave to her. Each one was special to her, and they all jumped for joy whenever she came home. Thor, Winston, Lydia, Leah, Bessie, Levi, Jessica, Micah, Munchkin, Arthur, Morgan, Gavin, Duncan, Ellysse, and the rest all knew that they were loved by her, and she doted on them. They were her pleasure and joy, even in the worst of times.

But it is not merely her many talents, abilities and qualities, nor is it her excellence as a physician that I want to emphasize. Instead, it is her loving kindness and her shining Christian example. What a believer, what great faith she displayed. You need to know that there was never a day in the last 19 years when she was pain free; some days were worse than others but no day was without excruciating pain, pain we could get no doctor to treat because no one believed her. Pain that was, at times, horrible beyond belief. The doctor for her final surgery said that he did not know how she managed to deal with the pain that she must have endured due to the mistakes made in her two previous surgeries. She was misdiagnosed by doctors tens times. She endured several bouts with cancer over the last 13 years, fights she won each time because of her intelligence, tenacity, courage, and; faith. Lawyers misled her and failed in their duties to her. She was treated unjustly by the legal and administrative systems of two states. Her repayment for saving a young man’s life was to be sued by him even though he suffered no damage or harm from her. The legal and medical bills she faced were astronomical. Finally, and worst of all, to my everlasting shame and regret, I broke her heart, terribly. I do not tell you these things to get sympathy for her, that is not Gayl. I tell you these things so that you can join me in praise of her, so you can see how wonderful she was in spite of circumstances that would have broken all but the strongest Christian. Most would have felt sorry for themselves, felt betrayed by the world or God, or turned their back on other people since their own problems were so terrible, overwhelming, and constant. Gayl did not. Gayl rose above her circumstances and responded positively. She rarely complained, and few knew of most of her challenges and the depth of her pain. She took me back into her life. In spite of circumstances, Gayl reached out as a Christian to any one and every one in need. She would not allow pain to defeat her, nor the circumstances of the world. She fought her fights, but was always a Christian lady.

Gayl gave, even when she had little to give and her health was frail. She took time to help any one in need, she gave freely, she helped whomever she could, and this she did without restriction, reservation, or expectation of comparable kindness to her, let alone financial reward. She acted purely out of love for other people and out of her sensitivity and sympathy for others. This in spite of everything that happened to her. Her whole life, but especially these last 19 years, is a shining Christian witness, an example that both humbles me and leads me to praise the Lord and her. I am honored to have been able to help her fight her battles and to stand by her side as she fought; but make no mistake, she carried the load and had the fortitude, faith, and intellect needed to fight the injustices, medical and legal, that she faced. She leaned upon the Lord for strength. She was the warrior, the one with the great heart and tenacity who would not yield to adversity. She may have lost some battles, but she never gave up or gave in. She never betrayed her Christian principles.

Her faith, bravery, and courage in the face of incredible pain and, later, in the face of the nearly hopeless odds against her in her final fight would put any warrior to shame. But, it is her loving kindness and Christian charity that comes most to mind. To show you the kind of Christian lady she is, even on her last day, she offered help and advice to a nurse attending her. I saw her witness several times her last week. What a wonderful lady she is. Our last few words are for ourselves alone, but rest assured that the other times we talked, she expressed her love for and thought of every one in her family and her friends. I thank God that I was chosen by her to be blessed with all that she is. I thank God that I was there to hold her hand until the Lord took her hand into His.

I could go on with stories about her and what a unique, wonderful person she is. But, let me conclude. She ran her race, and ran it well. If ever there is anyone who will be greeted by our Lord and told “Well done, my good and faithful servant,” it is Gayl. As for myself, her presence on this Earth gave me the strength and qualities needed to be a gentleman and kept at bay the cold of the world. The void she leaves in my heart and life and in the world, can never be filled. I pray that the rest of my life can serve to honor her and preserve her memory. I miss her.

Death

Death is truly the work of Satan. It is a terrible and powerful tool that he uses against us to weaken our resolve to live, our resolve to help others, and to steal away our lives. And it engulfs your mind with remorse, despair, loss, and emptiness. You feel you will never be happy again, and that you do not deserve to ever be happy. It attacks your hope for the future and draws you away from God's plan, if not from God himself. You find someone you want to spend your life with, and then the one thing that can not be undone by man takes away your most precious gift. Satan hates us, and I hate him. For all he did to Gayl, no punishment is great enough; and I am glad that God will deal with him.

Missing Gayl and other thoughts

I still wrestle with blaming myself. Even if I could not save Gayl after she was hospitalized, I should have noticed over the last year that she was weaker and not herself. It happened slowly and I did not see the whole picture, except in retrospect, but she started going downhill last Thanksgiving. I should have noticed and forced her to a doctor. If I had, I would still have her. And that thought haunts me. I miss her so much, and when I think that I could have done something I feel guilt and shame. And terrible loss. I always loved her, every day. I loved to talk with her. And, now due to my lack of attention, I have lost the most precious thing in my life. At least, that is how I feel. I know she is with Jesus and that she is happy, healthy, and joyful. She lived a wonderful life and helped me in so many ways. And she always loved and trusted in Jesus, she had a powerful faith in Him. I hope that He honors her greatly and that many people in Heaven praise her with great praise. My appreciation is not new, its just that now I feel I can share it with you. I always told her how much I loved and respected her. One other thing that eats at my heart is that she told me on the 23rd that the only time that she felt safe in the hospital was when I was there; and I was too old and tired to stay with her all the time and I let her down the last day. She deserved so much more in life and from me; I wish I had worked harder and smarter so that she would had done more and we could have been together more. And, if we had more money, she would still be alive. I can't but help thinking so.

Its almost 19 years, to the day, since she was admitted for her appendix problem. And her mom fought me all the way and accused me of affairs with the nurses. How Gayl suffered needlessly because of her.

I think, too, that the many doctors that she had over the years let her down a lot. The doctor who did her appendix let her sit in bed for 7 days until he operated. He was not very available when she was hospitalized, cause it was at Christmas time. The next doctor, in 91, fixed some problems, but left her intestines twisted. And her pain over all these years was because of that twist. If not for that pain, we might have found this last cancer sooner. Or, I should have forced her to have the hysterectomy instead of using chemo. I drive myself crazy thinking of all the things I could have done for her and did not. Maybe I could not have forced her, but maybe I could have talked her into it if I had been a lot more persistent.

I just miss her and want her back. I just wish I was with her. My future seems so empty without her, and I don't see how I can fill in the coming days. I pray a lot, but I miss her company and talking with her. And I am angry with the doctors for not taking better care of her.

I just hope she is happy to see me again.

Gayl - In Memorium

Gayl was born 16 January, 1952, we met 26 October 1974, and she married me 30 August 1975. She succumbed to her fifth bout with cancer on 29 September, 2006. Gayl was beautiful, on the outside and in her heart. Gayl already knows how highly I think of her, but you need to know some of what I do about her. Gayl is a wonderful Christian lady. I have been blessed greater than any other man by having Gayl in my life. The best person I have ever known is now with the Lord. I rejoice that she is with Him, that her pain and trials are at an end; but a life without her is a grim prospect. I, and the world, are the poorer for this loss and heaven has been enriched.

I was privileged and honored to be Gayl’s husband and friend. She is my best buddy; I was fortunate enough to be hers. She always let me know that I was loved; deeply, truly, and honestly by her with all her heart. Her actions toward me showed that every day. Gayl was always my pride, my joy, and my boast. I loved her and always will. I treasure every minute we spent together or even talking on the phone. I treasure the fact that her last minute on Earth was spent holding my hand in such a way that she told me that she loved me. She taught me what it means to be loved. She taught me what it means to be a Christian. No man could have a greater gift or a better wife and friend, and I was fortunate enough to receive this gift from her for over 31 years. Her love for me was a gift I did not earn or deserve; Gayl gave it freely from her heart.

Gayl was a wonderful doctor and a blessing. She saved many lives over the course of her twenty-five year medical practice, including mine on two different occasions. A better wife, person, or doctor is not to be found. She was the center of my life, she honored me by sharing her life with me, and her passing leaves a void that is impossible to fill.

Let me tell you of the Gayl I knew. We met by accident, by the grace of God, at the North Bridge in the Air Force Academy cadet area by the library at about 1130 on 26 October, 1974. She called me sir there, for the first and last time, and asked me to escort her to her car via the cadet area because she could not get from the library to her car without an escort. I walked her to her car and, after 15 seconds or so, as we walked down the “Bring Me Men” ramp, I asked her for a date. She said yes, because, as I later found out, she had nothing better to do. We saw the movie Dr Zhivago; she thought I was a dork. I asked her out again, and after sufficient pestering I earned a second date, more because the restaurant we were to go to was nice than the impression I had made on our first date. I made a better impression that second time, and our life together began. I had found the one true love of my life, and miracle of miracles, she fell in love with me. My love for her grew every day, and each day with her was a blessing.

After a few months, I proposed. She said no, as I later found out, to see how I would react. She has a great sense of humor, always did. For example, a few days later, while we were talking on the phone, me in a phone booth, all the freshmen in my squadron attacked, tore off the doors and most of my clothes and started to shave me from head to foot. I barely escaped, only because I had previously told one of my best friends that she had said no to me. She had set the whole thing up, including getting me into the phone booth, because she had somehow learned that the tradition was to shave seniors who got engaged. How she laughed at that. A few weeks later, on Valentine’s Day, I picked her up from her work at Navigators. After a few moments in the car, she asked me if I had any questions for her. Being especially bright, I had no idea what she was talking about. After a bit of prompting by her, it finally dawned what she wanted me to ask. So, I proposed again there in the car while we were driving out of the Navigator’s office complex. Never do that. When she said yes, I nearly drove into the ditch because I was so excited and happy.

As I grew to know her over the years, I learned of her many talents and watched her develop new skills. She excelled at all she did. She plays the piano like a concert pianist. She sings like an angel. She made beautiful ceramics and stained glass. She excelled at woodworking, sewing, knitting, crocheting, cooking, and art and car maintenance. Her skills developed over the years until they were quite amazing, to the point where I could not even understand how she did what she did and was simply amazed by the beauty of her creations.

A few years after we married, she entered medical school at the Michigan State University College of Osteopathic Medicine and became class vice-president. I was so proud. She graduated in 1981 and started her practice.

Gayl was a unique doctor. Even though Gayl was active in a wide variety of Christian activities, and a gifted artisan in many domains, any of which would have been lucrative and given her a comfortable life; her calling, her passion, and deepest commitment, was the practice of medicine. Her technical medical skills were unsurpassed. She was board certified in emergency medicine and practiced in many states within the US. She authored several papers related to the use of computerization and virtual reality technologies in emergency room settings. But it was not her intelligence and medical knowledge that distinguished her from her peers; it was her continual, heartfelt commitment to patient care and to the complete patient. Gayl wanted to be a doctor, and her life and practice showed that Gayl was a true doctor.

Gayl is a wonderful doctor, her capacity as a physician is beyond belief. A few stories will illustrate what I mean. She saved my life twice, once when I had a brain tumor and once when I had a bleeding ulcer. She stopped at numberless roadside accidents and saved several lives. I would sit in the doctor’s lounge when she was at work, and she would sneak away to talk with me a bit between cases and tell me about the interesting ones. She saved many souls in their last moments in this world. I saw her save many lives, sometimes with little more than her two hands and her wits. She could diagnose disease over a phone better than most physicians could with a complete medical workup and with the patient in front of them. She loved medicine, every part of it. She dispensed her vast medical knowledge and talent freely to any and all in need; and thousands are alive because of her, her skill, and her caring for people as a doctor. One other story illustrates her incredible medical ability. When Gayl was in Kettering hospital this last time, two days before discharge after her surgery (when we still had great hopes) her main doctor told me, completely unexpectedly, that she was the best doctor he had ever worked with and how impressed he was by her knowledge and intelligence and skill as a physician. She earned this complement from a world-class specialist; this complement was earned by a woman with terrible cancer and tremendous amounts of pain medication in her body. Indeed, he even asked where she practiced so that he could consult her and refer patients after her recovery.

Gayl’s practice showed that she knew that the word “doctor” is defined by medical skills and knowledge coupled with beliefs, actions, and compassion toward patients. She knew that “doctor” is neither a title that is granted nor a status obtained, but rather is a standing granted by patients to those physicians whose ethic and way of life place them in the first rank of healers. Gayl was in that first rank of healers; her medical practice evidenced both the compassion and the skill possessed by a true doctor. Dr Gayl, as her patients knew her, cared greatly for each patient. Gayl took each patient’s worries, fears, and uncertainties into her own heart and provided each patient with comfort, support, and encouragement, even though the support inflicted great personal emotional cost. She did this because she, like all doctors, willingly sacrifices greatly for others. Gayl helped people in all stages of health at all times; she did this because she did not merely settle for victory over disease, she strove for the complete health of the patient. Gayl gave of her medical knowledge and skill freely at all times. She did this out of concern and care for her patients and because, like all true doctors, she knew that its not just the battle against disease and Death that distinguishes or defines the doctor and that the doctor is not defined by one spectacular event or medical victory. Instead, a doctor is defined by a life of compassion, service, and sacrifice.

Gayl was unsurpassed in her “bedside manner.” Her natural tendency to reach out and help others coupled with her tender heart and cheery manner were the foundations of a personality that allowed her to reach out to each patient and relate to them as humans. People bonded deeply and readily with Gayl, and instinctively trusted her with their lives; both because of her evident skill and because of the way she interacted with each patient and of the tenderness, concern, and love she showed to each of them. Like any true doctor, Gayl was modest about her abilities, which were formidable. Gayl overcame much in order to serve, because for a doctor, the quality of patient care must never diminish in spite of the burdens of personal pain, heartache, and anguish that the doctor may carry; burdens caused because a doctor’s emotions are often bruised, a doctor’s confidence and self-esteem can be undermined because of loses in the battle against Death, and because a doctor will face periods of anger or despair in the battle. Gayl suffered all these wounds, and more, due to a life of service to her patients. Gayl was always upbeat but realistic and compassionate with patients, even in the darkest moments of their lives. She did this because she knew that a doctor may be discouraged by the prognosis for a patient, but can never yield in the fight for their patient’s life and health and never loses hope or, more importantly, allow the patient to lose hope. Dr. Gayl, provided the care and caring, compassion and heart, love and concern that are the hallmarks of the ideal doctor. The care, compassion, heart, and love that she showed to each patient arose naturally from her personality; it was not forced or just “put on” for a show for the patients. Her “bedside manner” was natural, and the patient knew it, because she deeply and truly cared for each one.

Compassion without skill is useless. Gayl continually worked on developing her medical skills. While in medical school at Michigan State, during break she would come home with all her books and have me quiz her on entire pages of text and class notes, with her own standard being that she could recite the entire page verbatim. After graduation, her quest to improve her skills intensified. She not only studied medical information more intensely, she also took every step she could think of to improve her skills. She would often scrub for surgeries of any type when she had time available, just to watch and learn. Gayl went to innumerable autopsies; she spent more than one Christmas and New Years’ Day morning watching autopsies being performed while I waited in the car. She decided to become an expert in radiology, even though she practiced emergency medicine, and as a result she studied countless x-rays, examined scans of all types, and talked to any radiologist who would teach her about any of the intricacies of reading an x-ray or other scan. Gayl worked every day to hone her skills, her quest to learn and improve her skills coupled with her awesome memory gave Gayl the medical skills needed to be a truly great doctor. When Gayl was in the Emergency Room working one or more medical crises, with a person’s life in the balance, it was a sight to behold. In the midst of the wild flurry of activity taking place in the effort to preserve the patient’s life she would lead the response to Death’s challenge, the most active of all but at the same time the most calm, focused, aware and intent. She assessed each piece of information calmly and coolly as she applied her prodigious intellect and skills to the multiple critical medical tasks at hand while leading the emergency room team in its response. She was in her element, and more. As Death dispatched successive waves in the attack upon the patient, Dr. Gayl would be at the forefront to meet them and defeat them, with a cool demeanor and outward confidence that inspired all that worked with her. The fire in her blue eyes at these times was the only sign of her determination to fight and win for the patient, she remained calm, cool, composed, and assured no matter how dire the circumstance or complex the medical emergency. Her expertise enabled her to anticipate, recognize, and defeat the tricks employed by Death to steal away a patient’s life. She fought and won many battles against Death, both in the Emergency Room with its full panoply of medical equipment at hand alongside skilled staff, and alone at the roadside, with nothing but her intellect, skill, and ability to lead a few untrained people in the effort to preserve a life. And when she lost a battle, the patient knew that the best had been done and that their dignity and humanity had been preserved in the face of a brutal enemy. She insured that no one ever met Death alone, even if she was the only one there to talk to the patient and hold their hand as they met eternity.

Gayl’s amazing behavior as a doctor makes it difficult to describe her in the emergency room, so let me try by analogy. Though I am a student of history, I know of only one event that can be called upon to illustrate Gayl’s behavior in an emergency medical situation. This event illuminates the skill, calm, grace under pressure, forcefulness, expertise, and unbending will that she brought to bear in every fight against Death. The event of which I speak is to be found in ancient histories that tell of Leonidas and the 300 Spartans at the Battle of Thermopylae. The histories tell us that Xerxes, commanding 2 million warriors, watched the 300 attack and defeat twenty times their number. As the 300 emerged from confusion of this wild melee, more of Xerxes men moved in to attack the Spartans, supported by thousands of archers whose volleys of arrows, we are told, blotted out the sun. The scene was one of total chaos. Yet, in response to Xerxes’ new attack, the Spartans, under Leonidas’ leadership, reformed their ranks in the face of the murderous volleys of arrows and advanced against the next attacking wave of Xerxes’ army. Upon seeing this display of leadership, skill, training, and determination by Leonidas and his Spartans, it is told that Xerxes leapt to his feet out of panic and fear for the safety of his army in the face of the Spartan onslaught. Gayl, in her defense of the patient against Death, at least equaled Leonidas in his battle against Xerxes. As each victory was won in the fight for the patient, Dr. Gayl marshaled her forces and advanced to the next challenge, with a coolness, determination, and discipline that were awesome to behold. I cannot help but think that more than once, Death himself doubted the ability of his black legions to withstand the charge she led against them, even though at times the outcome was, like for the 300, a foregone conclusion. The times I saw her at work, I scarcely recognized this medical warrior as the woman I married; my pride and admiration knew no bounds.

But it is not merely her many talents, abilities and qualities, nor is it her excellence as a physician that I want to emphasize. Instead, it is her loving kindness and her shining Christian example. What a believer, what great faith she displayed. You need to know that there was never a day in the last 19 years when she was pain free; some days were worse than others but no day was without excruciating pain, pain we could get no doctor to treat because no one believed her. Pain that was, at times, horrible beyond belief. The doctor for her final surgery said that he did not know how she managed to deal with the pain that she must have endured due to the mistakes made in her two previous surgeries. She was misdiagnosed by doctors tens of times. She endured four bouts with cancer over the last 13 years, fights she won each time because of her intelligence, tenacity, courage, and; faith. Lawyers misled her and failed in their duties to her. She was treated unjustly by the legal and administrative systems of two states. Her repayment for saving a young man’s life was to be sued by him even though he suffered no damage or harm from her. The legal and medical bills she faced were astronomical. I do not tell you these things to get sympathy for her, that is not Gayl. I tell you these things so that you can join me in praise of her, so you can see how wonderful she was in spite of circumstances that would have broken all but the strongest Christian. Most would have felt sorry for themselves, felt betrayed by the world or God, or turned their back on other people since their own problems were so terrible, overwhelming, and constant. Gayl did not. Gayl rose above her circumstances and responded positively. She rarely complained, and few knew of most of her challenges and the depth of her pain. She kept me in her life. In spite of circumstances, Gayl reached out as a Christian to any one and every one in need. She would not allow pain to defeat her, nor the circumstances of the world. She fought her fights, but was always a Christian lady.

Gayl gave, even when she had little to give and her health was frail. She took time to help any one in need, she gave freely, she helped whomever she could, and this she did without restriction, reservation, or expectation of comparable kindness to her, let alone financial reward. She acted purely out of love for other people and out of her sensitivity and sympathy for others. This in spite of everything that happened to her. Her whole life, but especially these last 19 years, is a shining Christian witness, an example that both humbles me and leads me to praise the Lord and her. I am honored to have been able to help her fight her battles and to stand by her side as she fought; but make no mistake, she carried the load and had the fortitude, faith, and intellect needed to fight the injustices, medical and legal, that she faced. She leaned upon the Lord for strength. She was the warrior, the one with the great heart and tenacity who would not yield to adversity. She may have lost some battles, but she never gave up or gave in. She never betrayed her Christian principles.

But Death, seeing in her a foe of matchless quality, attacked her five times in the form of cancer. The first four times, she and her physicians beat down the attacks. The fifth time, the attack was overwhelming; she had no chance, no tool to employ, no medicine to try. Yet, even when the outcome was certain, Gayl retained her determination, hope, and faith and she thought and fought for each day right up to the very end. Gayl fought, not out of fear of Death, for her reward is certain, but due to her love of life.

Her faith, bravery, and courage in the face of incredible pain and, later, in the face of the nearly hopeless odds against her in her final fight would put any warrior to shame. But, it is her loving kindness and Christian charity that comes most to mind. To show you the kind of Christian lady she is, even on her last day, she offered help and advice to a nurse attending her. I saw her witness several times her last week. What a wonderful lady she is. In the end, Death won his final battle with Gayl in a craven and cowardly manner; at the end Gayl was unbowed and triumphant. It was, and always will be, my highest honor to have held her hand at the end and for her last words in this world to be only for and to me. Our last few words are for ourselves alone.

It may seem to be a romantic notion, but true doctors never really die and they never die poor. Few, if any, true doctors acquire the wealth and the material things by which most people measure their lives. No accountant can determine the treasure accumulated by a true doctor. A true doctor measures the value of their life by a different scale, and it is by that measure that Gayl’s life must be assessed. Her riches and treasure are not material, but are found in the lives of the patients she served. While, for some patients, their memories of the doctor may fade, her spirit endures; perpetuated by the impact of the doctor’s actions and caring attitude on the lives of those who were served, and the impact of these lives upon the rest of world. By this measure, Gayl was wealthy beyond reckoning and amassed a treasure that even time cannot diminish or devalue. Her impact will be great. I have met and worked with astronauts, men who walked on the Moon, Congressional Medal of Honor recipients, Generals, Admirals, Senators, Congressmen, religious leaders, people who some consider great, and people who consider themselves great. Gayl stands above them all and is the best and bravest person that I know or ever will meet. As a physician, a doctor, and a person Dr. Gayl is unmatched. Gayl ran her race, and ran it well. If ever there is anyone who will be greeted by our Lord and told “Well done, my good and faithful servant,” it is Gayl. As for myself, her presence on this Earth gave me the strength and qualities needed to be a gentleman and kept at bay the cold of the world. The void she leaves in my heart and life and in the world, can never be filled. I pray that the rest of my life can serve to honor her and preserve her memory. I love her and I miss her.


Martin R. Stytz, Ph.D.
Lt. Col. USAF (ret.)
Class of 1975