Missing Gayl

I cry for Gayl
For all that could have been
And wasn't
For all there should have been
And won't
For all the pain and hurt she suffered
Without plait but for no reason
For my own stupid inability
To help, to save, to fix
To forestall or prevent any of the disasters
To prevent the end that I did not want
For all the evil the world did to her
That in my weakness and uselessness
I could not prevent
For the shattering loss to me
And to the world
For the darkness that fell
And has not lifted
For the inability of the world
To appreciate her and cherish her
As she so deserved
For the lack of recognition of her,
Her skill, her caring, her intelligence
Her singular worth as a woman & friend
Her unknown valor and courage
The lack of mourning for her
The total futility of it
The fact that it was not necessary
That we almost beat it all, together
For the evil of the bureaucracy
Their heartlessness, mindless cruelty
Their beastiality
I cry because I miss her so
And because there is a hole in me
For which there is no cure or patch
I do not cry because I will never see her again,
Because I know I will, thanks to
Jesus
I cry because the world is cruel
And has destroyed she which is best
Without thought to the loss