Saturday, September 26, 2009

Remembering


I wonder if all of the people who persecuted Gayl for all of those years ever feel guilt? I wonder if they ever wonder how many lives were lost because they chose to pursue her after they knew she was innocent? Do they ever feel guilt because their choice to persecute a woman they knew to be innocent prevented her from getting the medical care that she needed? Do they ever wonder what it was like to have excruciating pain for nineteen years? Do they ever wonder what it was like to open a letter from a DA with a false accusation while you lay on the floor in pain because the DA won't let you get the treatment you need? Do they ever feel remorse for ruining a life for no reason? Do they ever wonder what it was like to have cancer for sixteen years because you chose to try to enhance your own career instead of actually looking at the evidence? Do they ever think of the person, or can they put Gayl out of their minds? Because I can't. I remember her pain. I remember holding her hand and feeling life ebb from it. I remember hearing that cancer would kill her, and that the pain that the lawyers said never existed hid the cancer until it was too late. I remember the three emergency surgeries for pain, the months that she spent with a nasal-gastric tube in her nose, the pain she had every day in and out of the hospital. I remember her asking me to promise her, three days before she died, to make sure that the government would not take away her cancer pain medicine. I remember the pain she had every day. I remember the callousness of the lawyers when we told them of her pain. I remember the doctors who would not treat her because of the career-grubbing lawyers. I remember the pain Gayl had every day because legal people were more interested in their careers and their reputations than in the life they were destroying. Do they ever wonder about Gayl's dreams and hopes? Do they ever wonder about what she wanted to do? See, I know. I remember. I hurt everytime that something occurs that reminds me of her or something that she wanted to do, dreamed of doing, that we wanted to share. So, I wonder; do the lawyers and other scum ever lie awake at night and remember one excellent, loving, caring person whose life they destroyed while trying to boost their own careers?