Gayl and Injustice

As Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain said of his men at Gettysburg; so I can confidently and truthfully report to you about Gayl. It is character that tells. I do not mean simply nor chiefly bravery... What I mean by character is a firm and seasoned substance of soul. I mean such qualities or acquirements as intelligence, thoughtfulness, conscientiousness, right-mindedness, patience, fortitude, long-suffering and unconquerable resolve that raises an individual from the average to the exceptional. In this sense, Gayl had character. Intelligence, all would attest to her intelligence. She is brilliant. Right-minded and conscientious; ask anyone who she helped. She not only helped, she worked to make sure that it was perfect in every detail. Fortitude and long-suffering; heavens she had pain beyond belief for nineteen years. And yet, pleasant, helpful, kind, generous, uncomplaining; even after her last cancer diagnosis she helped people with medical advice to the point where she saved a life after she had joined our Lord. Yes, a woman with cancer was talking to Gayl, Gayl told her that the diagnosis was incorrect and what to ask another doctor so that she would get the correct treatment. And months after Gayl was gone, the lady called me to try to thank Gayl for saving her life. Unconquerable, she fought the injustices that the legal system and her cancer right to the end. What a wonderful woman and blessing. The troubles she faced are a terrible injustice and so terrible.

Gayl never had an easy, never spoiled. The hurts she suffered from her family, the legal system, and her health were all real and all deeply hurtful. She was not spoiled, she was never given anything, she had no silver spoon. She was never spoiled. She had to earn comfort and any stability; and it was attacked continuously by her parents and stolen from us by the legal system. Gayl is tough, hard as nails, but a lady too. I admire her. And boast about her. If people do not like that, tough. Gayl is precious to me, worth more than any conceivable about of money or fame.

I had a different life planned for us, one where we spent so much time together and visited places together and did things but they destroyed that. I wonder if they ever think about what they did to her and all that they destroyed? Do voices come out of the darkness and whisper to their conscience about all their black deeds. Do they ever have peace? Does their heart burst with pain?

I have given a lot of thought to all of the problems. I think that the legal problems came about because we hallowed justice and truth, and many if not most of the lawyers we opposed did not. We always worked to tell the whole truth and earn justice. Those who attacked her told lies, repeatedly, and tried to steal a conviction. They assumed that she would cave in or that I would abandon her, I guess. How wrong they were about her. And there was no way that I would ever abandon her. But, I find that deep in my heart that I hate and detest those people who did so much evil to her. They murdered her, with their lies, their attacks, their allegations, their persecutions they made it impossible for us to find a doctor who would take her medical complaints of pain seriously. The doctors always thought she just wanted drugs, when what we wanted was an end to her pain. And the pain that she endured masked the pain from the cancer that killed her. IMagine how bad the daily pain must have been, if you can; pain so horrible that she could not feel the other pain until she was almost eaten up completely by cancer. By a horrible cancer. By a cancer that we could have beat, if we could have just gotten to it earlier. But, thanks to the government liars, careerists, lawyers, and prosecutors, we could not. I hope to never meet those people; they are not even worth spitting upon. The legal system is an abortion, is it an abomination before God. But I hate them, I despise them, I pray that God takes these feelings from my heart and deals justice upon them. My heart bursts with pain every day without her. Life without her is not worthwhile. Every day is a journey in darkness. Every day is numbness. Every day it putting on a face to go to work, and then coming home to weep at the injustices heaped upon my love, my wife, my joy, my pride, my Gayl. It seems that powerful people are never called to answer for their awful deeds in this life, but I pray that their conscience never gives them a moment's rest.

I love Gayl, I always have, I always will. I will never give up.